January 2010
I Found Out
I am fantastic at giving advice. It just so happens that I can instruct my friends, and everything turns out perfect. But with myself, I cannot fix anything,
Fingers Buzzing.
Love playing bass. Deep vibrations as I bow the E string, fingers speeding up the string. How I love to play Franz Simandl music. Strings of 8th notes, varying in pattern, lacing my way up the neck, each note so clear. Thinking how my brain translates those black splotches on the pages into fingerings, and bow patterns, and note name, and sounds, thinking about that makes me so confused. So I just...
Coffee is my Best Friend.
After school, I went to coffee with Katie Trinter. Coolest youth pastor you will ever meet. We have deep conversations, and she sometimes swears and believes if you are in love, then sex before marriage is okay. Shes a pretty reasonable person, if I do say so myself. Caffeine gives me this major buzz, for all of you who have never seen me on caffeine. I go on crazy rants, make insane hand motions,...
Omegle.
Turkish guys are actually really amusing! When I am super bored, I go on omegle and have these hilarious conversations that make me smile. I am waiting for the zune software to finish installing so I can put all these movies I downloaded on my zune. Mother is going crazy and saying I can’t watch tv on the laptop. Well then, fine! Ill watch movies on my zune! You see, I’m quite bored...
Somehow this shitty feeling is really nice.
Does that make any sense? Maybe it is because I know I am free. Free to do anything and everything. I’m stopping this wild goose hunt for a boy who cares. Maybe that’s not God’s plan for me. Obviously its not. I think I will go to Africa and live with mountain gorillas for two years. Then I think I will buy a hundred acres with a house with two rooms, and a barn and own 15 great...
Ice Skating.
With some awesome people. It will get my mind off of the little fuck wad who has been haunting my thoughts all weekend.
EW.
I swear my dogs are gay.
I Like Your Heartbeat.
Thats not wierd at all right? Hahaha talked to my sister for an hour, which is where this title came from. Then Bryan for probably even longer. We have decided that he is going to shadow me in school during February then come over and we will make pancakes and play xbox. I love that boy so much :) hes like my brother, I never get tired talking to him. I haven’t studied really so basically I...
Is this happy?
You tell me. Because the way I feel, I can’t tell.
Oh My
How I love this rain falling outside my house. Everything is being washed away. Including me. Me and all those past regrets and worries that were holding me back.
My Dog Wishes He Had Opposable Thumbs.
Today I am hungry. Hungry for the emotions I’m lacking that others are drowning in. I’m also hungry for caffeine. The first step is admitting you have an issue. Fuck yes I’m addicted to caffeine. Do I care? Not one bit. So, let’s go grab a latte, and sit in the cozy chairs, and study while rain falls outside the windows. My mind won’t drift with the steady hand of my...
Yesterday was a Great Day.
Fun times with Bryan and Rose and all them. Downtown, we went to the new candy shop and laughed at a drunk guy in a liquor store, hit on guys at the dairy and played truth or dare, made Bryan hump a tree in public for a minute and tricked a guy into thinking we would have a threesome. I laughed so much. Met some new people, fun people, Rose’s friends. Everything was good ...
Random Words.
oh so sick in the head this weight is not mine I am so dead lay me down to rest the night where demons crawl in the haunted light kisses of hate there never far they never wait and in the day in the burning sun you’ll cast away my shady ways forever more
Motherrfuckerr.
Last week was great. This week SUCKED. Lets make a bet. Next week… is going to eat me alive… My plan is this. My birthday is on February First. I’m mad enough about this whole situation to honestly say that if shit doesn’t go down by my birthday, it’s a thing of the past. I’ve got options, yes I do. And I don’t trust information unless it’s from you....
History repeats itself
It’s proven in the past
But if history repeats itself
I’m not sure I would last
Happy Day, Happy Day.
I am happy. First time probably this whole year. And it feels great.
Harry Potter.
I am re-reading all of the books, minus the first. For some strange reason, I struggled getting through the first couple of chapters, and never finish. So I’m starting from the chamber of secrets. I’m gunna watch the movie after every book, see how different they are.